FORGETTING is Tough, better IGNORE it

I walk my usual walk by the highway to Buddha point; I feel the warmth of fresh Thimphu air against my face. I make up my mind to sit down overlooking the tiny populated city – Thimphu and my mind speculate how fast time had flirted that how I have misused my last seven years in her thoughts and waiting for her to come. I linger back all those old stone-dead memories, making me sad, making me glad, taking me back to those wonderful days when I was madly in love with her, transporting me to those bitter-sweet times of romance and heartbreak which have a very faint and fragile hope of success. I wanted to go back in time as well as needed to forget the past and escape from this moment as well. It’s hard for me to guess what I did?
Kinga and I first met seven years ago as a high school student. The moment I met her, a ray of love sparked my heart like never before as I realized that she was the one I had been waiting for. Her beautiful face dressed with cute smile attracted me most. At time we became the best friends while I loved her with all my heart. The best part of my life was to spend with her. We used to walk together, meet during weekends and spent hours by talking about ourselves. I still remember the way she smiles when she heard humors of my home town Paro. I cherished every moment spent with her and we promised we would do all in our power to make that part of our life go on and on. But all things, beautiful and ugly, must come to close and reduce to its end. The joy of my life that love afforded ended when I was placed in Nangkor. She stayed in my dreams and though I knew that dreams seldom come true. I still loved to dream about her. Not a day ended without the thought of her and she was always present in all my dreams at night and day. I spent most of my time by thinking of her and calling through phones that not giving good response.
The months and the days passed and the time came for me to go for winter break. Fate and luck were not with us. We were to lead separate lives, will meet in the next session was my prayers and wishes. I was dying in listen to her voice and to see her face. At our separate days, I had a lot of expectations from her. Even if not love reciprocated, a friendly chat would serve the purpose of quenching the thirst of my love for her. My eyes dogged her every move and I wanted to talk to her, but when nothing happened and she gave no damn of even remembering of me, I realize that I must stop hoping for her even if I could not stop loving her. It dawned on me that if we were not meant for each other and if she never loved me, no force on earth could bring us together. It is today where love is ever in the air when I again remember her and wanted to know where and what she was doing. But it was a vain dream and with time I managed to forget. I recall her only as a girl, who was like a star that I could never catch even if I tried for many years. It began to look like I had wasted my previous time by thinking of her and calling her through phones by wasting the money earned with sweat and toil. Deep in my heart I love her more than before, if only she could change. I wish I could tell her that I love her so much but I can’t let my heart rule my head.
Jabab Phub Dorji